Guessssss who's BACKKKKK!....RIP Myron Fitzgerald Miller

Wow...It's been like 2years since I've been on this thing....So I'd figure that I'd stop being lazy and get back to writing, reflecting, and sharing my life experiences...etc..

Well let's see...I'm mean where do I begin... let's rewind back to March 2006 (the date of my last post).... Since then I've switched jobs and moved into my own crib...That's MAJOR huh? Well I say it's kinda bittersweet: Condo= Independence, but more responsibilities and BILLLLLLLSSSS!!! I know, I know I'm 25 now and it all comes along with being a man, so I should just shout my mouth and don't complain not "nay" bit..lol...Wait, but really "I don't wanna grow up I'm Toys R Us Kid!" ....Those were the days I swear, as a child I had noooo care in the world other than Christmas and whether I'd get that new video game.... In any case, I've been blessed immensely by my Creator, I am grateful...

The new job...hmmmm....it was exciting at first but after a year or so I find myself not fufilled, rather just another robot sitting in a cubicle going blind looking at a computer for 8, 9, 10 hrs per day...*yawn* There's part of me that yearns for something better, something greater and it just won't rest until I "get there"... Oh and I will! It's like I've been riding on a red line train but should've been on the blue line...but hey thank God for transfer stops!!!!!GLOOOOORRRRRRY..I feel like it's my time to shine now guys...Stay tuned!

"Smile though your heart is aching

Smile even though its breaking

When there are clouds in the sky, youll get by

If you smile through your fear and sorrow

Smile and maybe tomorrow

Youll see the sun come shining through for you

Light up your face with gladness

Hide every trace of sadness

Although a tear may be ever so near

Thats the time you must keep on trying

Smile, whats the use of crying?

Youll find that life is still worthwhile

If you just smile..."

On October 31,2008 I felt like a part of me died. It was on this day that I lost my little cousin. He was like the little brother that I never had, and we had special unbreakable bond. Though most people might've only saw him as a problem child, I saw him as very loving young man that had so much potential to be great. We'd talk every so often about life and I'd encourage him to do the right things in life...he knew that I would always be there if he ever needed anything, and I believed he appreciated that. The week of his death he called me more frequently (Sunday, Monday, Tuesday) and would vent about his frustrations with life and how life was hard. I would listen and encourage him that it wasn't too late to get himself on track ,and that I would help him....well the last time we talked, I told him that he could move in with me, if he ever wanted a change in environment....he sounded excited about it, and said he would come once he finished his community service in February...

The past two weeks or so have been kinda rough... I've felt all types of emotions and have had many unanswered questions....even started to blame myself for a moment. I did my best to help, and the rest was up to him and God. However, the reality is that this is Life and we never know which way the path will lead us. I have come to peace with this reality, and also with the fact that not everything in this life may make sense. I have faith that I'll understand it by and by...For there's a time and season for everything, and as much as I loved my cousin and will miss him, he belonged to God..... So I smile in the memory of my cousin and good times we've shared.... I know one day we'll meet again lil cuzzo! You're truly missed and loved!

R.I.P Myron Fitzgerald Miller

(10/9/1990- 10/31/2008)